God Forgives. I don’t

The ever-on-his-people mercy of God

The morning of this day, I reached at work and found this lady in the common room. She had confided in me her personal account of shame just after I had shared with her my own. She told me how she was afraid of her subsiding faith in God. She had lost her zeal of prayer-she no longer prayed and fasted as she used to do. And thus wondering how her life could have suddenly derailed into the path of utter insecurity-with her power of prayer and faith dwindling day by day.

The previous day she had traveled without a “potent pocket” –she only hoped on the mercy of her forgotten Lord Jesus Christ that probably along the way someone would rescue.

I dint emphasize questioning how and why she could travel without having enough transport especially when I knew it was too desperate for her to miss the appointment. Needless to say, she was too desperate to travel.

On her way back, later in the evening, just like she could project, she wasn’t disillusioned to find herself without the transport to return her home. So she was standing still in the shed of the veranda waiting for her God to save the situation. She had completely come to terms and ungrudgingly settled with her predicament.

She would creep her arms around herself in silence and shamefacedly regretting how she had nothing to attribute her failure to fend for her little transport costs-and only feeling indebted for her lost faith. Meanwhile even though she hoped God would abandon her, at the same time she summoned the faith to believe that later alone someone would come to her rescue.

But thinking about it all the time while regretting in guilty conscience-the reminder feelings that irritably rack your conscience, to let you aware that you have needed God to save you at your moment of convenience is-surely a shame that keeps you silently seated on the veranda.

It was not long, a gentleman drove by and stopped to pick her. He was heading exactly for the same destination.  She was overjoyed by God’s consideration. That God had not abandoned her even in her wickedness. That’s why she told me this story.



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